wow! i'm so totally at lose of words right now about this whole weekend. it has truely been an incredible revelation.

Darren has challanged me in so many things and so many ways! He was talking a lot about "what you do in this world, is your life meaningful? does it give glory to the name of Jesus?" and "souls are the only reason worth living, at all times preach the gospel, if nessasarry use words!!" He emphasised that if you have faith, God will do it! press in, God's going to give you life and life more abundant.... if you own one pair of pants and eat two square meals a day, you are in the top 5% richest poeple in the world!

God gave me such a HUGE revelation of the cross last summer at the missions trip training thing with YWAM and it was just so amazing! Jesus DIED for ME!! he gave his life because i am dirty, because i am unclean. or God so LOVED the world, that he gave his only son. Jesus' death on the cross was such a beautiful sacrifice. He did it so the viel could be torn, so we could enter into the holy of holys with freedom!! now, we can have a personal relationship with our saviour! HALLELUAH! PRAISE HIM! i was weeping for like an hour and a half just kneeling beneath the cross! it was such an important thing. this is such a powerful thinhgs, we must never take this lightly! ...so anyways, back to the weekend.. Darren started to explain (in detail) all the things Jesus had to go through, all the beating, spitting, whipping, humiliation, cutting, stabbing, nailing, insulting.... so horrible! it gives me tears just to think (or type) about it. why did Jesus have to go through that? he is so pure and the last person on the earth that would be worthy of dying on a cross!! do you realize that he was human? how would it feel if you were spat upon and got whipped untill your back was raw, beaten until everyone could see your bones, covered in blood, with a crown of thorns digging into your brains! JESUS died that way! and God is saying to me: "you were worth it. i'd die just for you, again!" .... What!? i'm nothing but a dirty sinner! why?? i think i need to just stop questioning, but trusting, recieving, and loving it all!

Colossians 1:21-22:
you were so far away from God, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions, yet now he has brought you back as his friends. He has done this through his death the cross in his own human body. as a result, he has brought you to the very presence of God, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

God is adopting me. i am now His daughter. He's putting a crown of love and compassion on my head and saying to me "you are my daughter, i love you so much" he wants to be close to me.

Kate prayed for me on friday.. i can't remember really what she said, but it was so awesome! her and sarah's workshop has got me thinking about worship, and how i can do that. buying Jesus a card, dancing, playing a game with my family, prayer, helping my nieghbor... that can all be worship!

i want life to come out of my mouth... (pray for me)

dancing was super hard for me on friday and then saturday morning. But, i prayed with a friend, and on saturday night, God came in me! he annointed the dance and every move was from him and for him. such a release! ...i believe dance is such a powerful thing. it is worship leading, it is intersession, it is expressing your heart, pouring your feelings out to the Lord in a way that nothing else can! it is very important and i'm so glad for the spirit of God within the dance team.

At fuel last night, God told me (through Darren..) that i am a mighty warrior. He wants to use me. If i trust in the Lord and have faith in him, he'll beat the army (Judges 6:1-14) he'll give me the strength i need, he'll fill me with his grace. He can do it, i can't! but he loves me and he wants to use me in my family, and school! amen!


woah, this i a long blog... oh well, God's doin stuff!! YES! :) ok.. so i got a picture of this fountain (like the kind with the lil rocks, and you plug it in in your house and stuff) and there was like 2 levels in it so it was kind of like a waterfall type thing. ~ God is at the top, he's the source of the water (the water is the Holy Spirit) and he's puring into me (the fountain) and then i'm totally full, and so i spill into the other part of the fountain (anything that God uses me in to reach others) ...and the water does not stop! it keeps coming and coming and coming! God will continue to pour into me so i can pour into the world! Thankyou Jesus!

ok... one more thing..... my mom basically got laid off for december (except for like 5 hours a week) so we had a family meeting today and my parents were saying that we're going to have a small christmas this year for a lot of reasons... and so we agreed that we're just going to have stockings and stuff... $20. ~ oh man.. i was thinking about how i totally miss buying all these nice christmas presents for my family and seeing thier faces when they opened them. i loved going shopping and christmas wrapping. it's a part of my christmas life. during this meeting thing, i also was saying to myself "it's not fair, i want more presents and i want it to be like all the other years" and i felt so selfish, and bratty! i don't need presents to satisfy me! whatever the world has to offer is nothing compared to what God can bring me. and my friendship with Jesus is and should be more important to me than another hundred dollars of clothes! Jesus is the reason for the season, and we should celebrate Him! oh wow, my selfish desires sure did humble me about this whole thing!


so. sorry, if your eyes are sore from reading all this stuff, but i needed to get it all down! thankyou for listening, may God bless you richly!

~christine