life

isn't life really wierd? like, what if there was no such things as humans, or God, or the world, or anything... then life wouldn't exist, nothing would exist.. everything we are and everything we know is gone, and we are gone. we arn't alive. that's one of the weirdest thoughts/feelings in the world.
life. ...what's the point of living?, what do we live for? how should we live? how should we spend our time? seasons. what are they? Mountain-tops, valleys, deserts… so what about during the harder times? Does God hold himself back from you? Does God choose how your relationship is? Does God decide how far you go with him? Or do you? ..maybe you hold back yourself from Him. I think that once you realise this. You need to make a decision. You choose how deep your relationship is with God. You must decide how much you really want him, and press in, put the effort into it. it’s not about all of the little rules or acts that you must do for God. It’s all about your heart, and your relationship with him. you need to be yourself, be REAL. Come before God as you are, raw, because that’s how he sees you anyways. It shouldn’t matter what you feel, it’s the truth that matters. commitment isn’t about feelings or emotions! It’s about your heart. so back to seasons. you could "feel" like you're in a dry time, but God is SO near. and in my experiences, there was so many "oasis's" in deserts and if i just changed the way i thought, the desert would be gone, i'd be all good. but i think that we feel like we're far away, so we just decide that we are dry. but if we just steped into the water and got a little bit wet, knowing that nothings holding you back except ourselves, then God would show up.

i really want to grow stronger in my relationships with my parents.. i feel like they don't understand me sometimes, but then again, i don't understand them either. but, idn i think that in your house, the people in it see the state of where your heart is and how you're really feeling. they see your good sides, and your bad sides. most of the arguements you have are with family members. though lately, i feel like all i'm doing is fighting with my parents, and they only see the bad side of me. which is no good. your family is supossed to be the closest to you. when everything else is gone, your family is still there, so you might as well get along with them. i think that God can use families who have strong relationships and can get along.. i was talking with my brother for like 2 hours last night about lots of stuff. and i deceided to write a letter to my parents.. so i did, and i got to bed at like 3.. haha.

so ya.. that's all i got.. for now. peace out

~schroeder


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~"i'll be" -edwin mccain
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