wow! i'm so totally at lose of words right now about this whole weekend. it has truely been an incredible revelation.
Darren has challanged me in so many things and so many ways! He was talking a lot about "what you do in this world, is your life meaningful? does it give glory to the name of Jesus?" and "souls are the only reason worth living, at all times preach the gospel, if nessasarry use words!!" He emphasised that if you have faith, God will do it! press in, God's going to give you life and life more abundant.... if you own one pair of pants and eat two square meals a day, you are in the top 5% richest poeple in the world!
God gave me such a HUGE revelation of the cross last summer at the missions trip training thing with YWAM and it was just so amazing! Jesus DIED for ME!! he gave his life because i am dirty, because i am unclean. or God so LOVED the world, that he gave his only son. Jesus' death on the cross was such a beautiful sacrifice. He did it so the viel could be torn, so we could enter into the holy of holys with freedom!! now, we can have a personal relationship with our saviour! HALLELUAH! PRAISE HIM! i was weeping for like an hour and a half just kneeling beneath the cross! it was such an important thing. this is such a powerful thinhgs, we must never take this lightly! ...so anyways, back to the weekend.. Darren started to explain (in detail) all the things Jesus had to go through, all the beating, spitting, whipping, humiliation, cutting, stabbing, nailing, insulting.... so horrible! it gives me tears just to think (or type) about it. why did Jesus have to go through that? he is so pure and the last person on the earth that would be worthy of dying on a cross!! do you realize that he was human? how would it feel if you were spat upon and got whipped untill your back was raw, beaten until everyone could see your bones, covered in blood, with a crown of thorns digging into your brains! JESUS died that way! and God is saying to me: "you were worth it. i'd die just for you, again!" .... What!? i'm nothing but a dirty sinner! why?? i think i need to just stop questioning, but trusting, recieving, and loving it all!
Colossians 1:21-22:
you were so far away from God, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions, yet now he has brought you back as his friends. He has done this through his death the cross in his own human body. as a result, he has brought you to the very presence of God, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.
God is adopting me. i am now His daughter. He's putting a crown of love and compassion on my head and saying to me "you are my daughter, i love you so much" he wants to be close to me.
Kate prayed for me on friday.. i can't remember really what she said, but it was so awesome! her and sarah's workshop has got me thinking about worship, and how i can do that. buying Jesus a card, dancing, playing a game with my family, prayer, helping my nieghbor... that can all be worship!
i want life to come out of my mouth... (pray for me)
dancing was super hard for me on friday and then saturday morning. But, i prayed with a friend, and on saturday night, God came in me! he annointed the dance and every move was from him and for him. such a release! ...i believe dance is such a powerful thing. it is worship leading, it is intersession, it is expressing your heart, pouring your feelings out to the Lord in a way that nothing else can! it is very important and i'm so glad for the spirit of God within the dance team.
At fuel last night, God told me (through Darren..) that i am a mighty warrior. He wants to use me. If i trust in the Lord and have faith in him, he'll beat the army (Judges 6:1-14) he'll give me the strength i need, he'll fill me with his grace. He can do it, i can't! but he loves me and he wants to use me in my family, and school! amen!
woah, this i a long blog... oh well, God's doin stuff!! YES! :) ok.. so i got a picture of this fountain (like the kind with the lil rocks, and you plug it in in your house and stuff) and there was like 2 levels in it so it was kind of like a waterfall type thing. ~ God is at the top, he's the source of the water (the water is the Holy Spirit) and he's puring into me (the fountain) and then i'm totally full, and so i spill into the other part of the fountain (anything that God uses me in to reach others) ...and the water does not stop! it keeps coming and coming and coming! God will continue to pour into me so i can pour into the world! Thankyou Jesus!
ok... one more thing..... my mom basically got laid off for december (except for like 5 hours a week) so we had a family meeting today and my parents were saying that we're going to have a small christmas this year for a lot of reasons... and so we agreed that we're just going to have stockings and stuff... $20. ~ oh man.. i was thinking about how i totally miss buying all these nice christmas presents for my family and seeing thier faces when they opened them. i loved going shopping and christmas wrapping. it's a part of my christmas life. during this meeting thing, i also was saying to myself "it's not fair, i want more presents and i want it to be like all the other years" and i felt so selfish, and bratty! i don't need presents to satisfy me! whatever the world has to offer is nothing compared to what God can bring me. and my friendship with Jesus is and should be more important to me than another hundred dollars of clothes! Jesus is the reason for the season, and we should celebrate Him! oh wow, my selfish desires sure did humble me about this whole thing!
so. sorry, if your eyes are sore from reading all this stuff, but i needed to get it all down! thankyou for listening, may God bless you richly!
~christine
hey man!
i'm really excited about the conference tonight!! i hope everyone will have an awesome time with God! i'm going to be dancing like crazy! which is kind of a bittersweet thing for me because like, dancing is awesome, and in that, i'm leading people into worship, but its just not the same as just concentrating on God alone.. you know what i mean? But anyways, i'm so stoked that the conference can be here in Maple Ridge than to be in some far place where not very many people can come!so... ya that's so rad!
I'm on a media fast right now (like, i'm not watching TV and movies) and when i was deciding if i was going to do it or not (this was like, 5 months ago) I was reading the bible and in Ephesians 4:17 - 5:13, it says a lot of cool stuf that you should read!! and umm... ya, so that was God telling me to do it. i am on this fast because i don't want to be affected by all of the crap that the media and movies especially is trying to make be think or believe. i want to live a life of righteousness before the Lord and movies were a big thing that brought me farther away from giving God all the glory. i've been thinking about that a lot lately and decided i should have more of that attitude towards it. I've been finding myself just not watching movies becase i said i wouldn't and if i have the choice, i would. so i'm in the process of just like pressing into God and making the most of this time because i think not spending that much time in front of the TV can suerly bless me if i use that time to read and pray! so... ya that's it
i've decided that i'm not satisfied at where i am with God. i want to be changed and once again.. broken i want to live in humility and i realize that i'm nothing without Jesus inside of me! "more of you and less of me" let that be the theme of my life! i want more of God in my mind, life, heart.. etc...
songs that i like: "deeper" and "undivided focus" by heather clark
love you!!
~christine
Hello everyone
the Five iron frenzy concert was awesome! Reese Roper is my hero! anyways... ya.. I love Christmas. I can't wait!! -oh that reminds me.. I like don't have ANY money this year, so I'm sorry if there's no present.. I love you anyways, but I'll pray that God will bless you and give you gifts if you want (and those are far better than what I can give you.. even if I had money) but ... ya I think that's it...
these past few days my spirit is just like.. meah ble... like not doing anything! but well... I guess like... I've been reading my bible and praying, but like u feel like so dry! I don't feel his presence. I want my whole mind to be CONSUMED by His power and I want God to overflow my being with His words and His love! but... idn it's so hard! I know i've been saying this in past couple posts, but I'm still struggling with it. My sinful human nature is just so ugly and gross, I need to dispose of it!
I had this really weird/scary/...weird dream on monday night about someone that I know... we'll call this person... Reese (it could be a girl or a guy) anyways.. I had this dream that Reese committed suicide and in my dream I was weeping for about 2 minutes and it was weird cause I could see myself cry in my dream so it was like I wasn't in my body. but ya anyways that was it. and when I woke up I remembered it and I was like "what the heck!? that was weird! is this dream from God? is it a warning or just trying to scare me? does it mean anything? is.. Reese ok? what should I do?! and so idn it was bugging me all day on tuesday and then at youth on tuesday Sarah's dad was there and we talked about dreams, so ya he said that I f you had a dream and you're not sure who it's from or what it means, to talk to someone about it. so I told my mom and she said that to just pray!!! like it could mean anything, but you can't go wrong with praying for Reese.... so I have been and ...ya so pray with me ok? God will know what you mean..;)
"we cannot become what we need to be, remaining what we are." woah that's so mental. I like just read that on the wall, and it totally related to what I just said! like I need to press in more and seek more if I want something I need to become increasingly dis-satisfied with how my relationship with Christ is at, I need to become more reliant on Jesus and what HE has for me! not what I have for myself.
so.. ya that's it, I have to go to bed now because I have to get up at 6:00 :|
love from
~christine
What's up my homeslices? I'm kickin' it in da crib yo!...right... anyways... it was a hard lose against Garabaldy today... game 5 we lost 15-13 ...we should have won! ...but we didn't. Oh well.. me and my brother are going to the Five Iron Frenzy concert on sunday in Seattle!! YA! it'll be super fun! i'm excited... ok... ummm... i'm reading in 1 Corinthians (..not coronicles)... thats all...
I feel like i'm in that place where i just want to surrender myself over to God and let Him mold me, cut me, create me (etc). I don't care anymore! I need God in my life, I need him inside of me, i need to "Pray continually" (1 thess. 5:17) and talk to him! he's my best friend, i think maybe i should talk to him more often! I want my goal in life to be "Becoming one with Christ" (Phil. 3:7-11 ***read this!!!***) ok i don't know if becoming one with Christ is possible, i want to strive for it, I want God to be the only thing i'm living for! I may not feel him, but i need to trust in him and in his power. I need his peace through the storms (shannons blog talks a little bit about that) I need his love to fill my thoughts. I want to live like how Jesus lived, I want Jesus to burn inside of me so much that it cunsumes me and i can't hold it in! (Jer. 20:9) I need to become a living sacrifice before God (Romans 12:1-2) and be in the world but not of it! I want God to fill me with his love, peace joy, and mercy. I don't feel him, but i feel peace. But you know what? I can't do any of this on my own! i've tyed! and failed!!! i need God! I need him to give me the strength to stay in his loving arms and live a life of purity, holiness and praise. He has to cut out of me my dirty, sinful nature and replace it with grace, power and love! i can't live without God and i and nothing without Him.
So Jesus, i pray that you will come near to me as i come near to you (in faith). I want to feel you and talk to you (more) and KNOW you! let that happen. Help me be a better friend to you, i love you so much. please come into my life and take me away with you, help me live for you, help me talk to you, help me worship you with everything i do!!
k at youth yesterday kate chose a vonderful goot song!! it really reflects what i'm feeling at the moment...
All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him, in his service daily give.
All to Jesus I surrender, humbly at His feet I bow;
worldly pleasure all forsaken take me Jesus take me now!
All to Jesus I surrender, make me, Saviour, wholly thine;
let me feel our love and power, truely know that thou art mine!
All to Jesus I surrender, Lord i give myself to thee;
fill me with thy love and power, let the blessing fall on me
I surrender all, I surrender all
all to thee, my blessed Saviour
I surrender all
ya.. that's pretty cool
pray for me!! i need God's help cause' i'll fail if i try to do everything by myself, i need to rest in His arms... may the Lord bless you and keep you and may His face shine upon you (and through you!)
...peace out, word to your mothers
~christine~
