i think i know why i am so lazy and not changing... i've lost my fear of God. if i reckognized the extent of his power.. my life would be transformed! we deserve nothing! so... why do we expect so much from him? why are we so selfish? why do we base our relationship with God on feelings? it's such a gift to be able to pray, and have God listen to a word we say, but we don't even talk to him! it's amazing how much grace he has towards us and we can be in his presence, but we are so lazy, we can't even move one step closer to him. he's right there, we just need to reach out our hand. we are nothing! we deserve even worse than nothing, to be dead on a cross! but Jesus died instead. WHAT A SACRIFICE! he did it for us, and we throw it in his face saying "i'm too lazy to recieve the amazing things you have for me" i know this and understand this, but i don't make any effort. i feel like i'm not committed. today i found out that i'm believeing so many lies from the enemy: "i'm too weak" "there's not point" "it's not worth it" "it's too hard" "God expects too much" " i don't want to" "it's so boring" "i won't get anything out of it" ...man satan's messing up my thoughts... but it's really hard not to believe these lies.
pray that i'll find a job...and for everything else

~christine

!!music!!
"you said" ...more... ~rita springer, fif, a little bit of Avril... sorry guys, i like some of her old stuff... like "tommorrow", Ari, U2, POD...

hello there... i'm so glad it's summer! finally no more school... anyways, i'm not doing really much this summer, going to hope and JESUS FEST!! in july and camping right before school starts. but in between i'm hoping to get some sort of a job and have lots of fun!

i haven't really spent very much time with God in a while, i was SO busy this past week getting ready for exams and babysitting and stuff.. but.. ya i want God to be first. it seems like other things are becoming more important. i feel so damp and like.. not excited about God or anything.. it really sux, and i know i can just change it if i change myself and my attitude, but it's hard, and idn... i just don't know.. and i guess that's a bad thing. i havn't found/had/made even 20 freakin minutes with God this past week until today! and seriously, you feel so good after, like you spent your time well. i'm already sick of watching TV. it's so pointless.. in fact, so is this stupid computer. i know it, but why do i still waste my time on them?? "we were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves?" can we realise that God is the only thing worth our time? will we ever know how entertained we can be from God if we just let him? can't we just stop living empty lives? can't we just stop looking everywhere else to fill us up, when we know that God's sitting right there calling us to recieve his love... ugh i annoy myself sometimes. the more i think about it.. the more i know that relationships are the most important thing in life. relationship with God, and with others.
"He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead."
anyways.. ya i really want to be excited about getting to know God, i want to be passionate again, i want to want to go to church. i want to live again! at church i totally just zoned out during worship.. i sang the words, but didn't think of them.. so so empty. a waste of time! be real guys, mean what you say, speak life, not death. love. that's all that life was meant for. love.

here's some James 4:7-10 double action!
"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life... Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet."(MSG)

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded... Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."(NIV)

make me whole
make me clean
make me pure as gold again

sup fools! i'm marshie.. i mean.. what? k BLINSIDE IS MY HERO! and POD was rocking it up too! oh man, i love concerts.. and crowd surfing, (it sucked so much mark!) lol any ways, ya i had a blast. (read nikki's blog for more info) now the only band from my "must see" list that i must see is switchfoot... so exams are coming up and i'm getting pretty busy, i just can't wait till it's all over and i can stay up late and sleep in! we gotta do lots and have fun in the sun! oh, and i decided i'm going to HPMCS next year for sure

my relationship with God is doing really good.. i've been thinking and learning stuff, even though i haven't like read my bible that much, i'm just feeling like God is taking me in his arms and letting me rest there, knowing that i don't have to do anything to earn his love... and there's nothing that can separate me from it. i'm doing other stuff to spend time with him, like pray or play guitar, or listen to worship.. i'm just thinking a lot. i was talking to Jess, and it was cool. -you can be as close to God as you want, or allow- wow! i'm so far away from where i want to be, but at the same time, i love the journey that i'm on. i had been striving to know christ and setting rules, it's not about that. it's about relationship. it's about living in the knowlage that you are nothing, but everything in Jesus, it's about living like you're going to die in a month. -what would you do? DO YOU WANT TO BE TELLING THE STORIES OR HEARING THEM? that's my motto. in the long run, what does money, clothes, or a test matter? build relationships!! with God and people. love each other. love as Jesus loved. ...there's my lovely ramble for ya:)

i have a question i've been thinking about... do you think that it's possible for a christian (who's been saved) to become a non-christian and not be able to go to heaven? like, what if they were like "oh, i didn't mean what what i said when i believed in God" and totally live against all our beliefs? i don't know what to think ..please comment your opinion

::muSic::
blindside for prime misister! i love 'em
POD's old stuff.. and the things they were playing last night
Switchfoot is always in the tops of the charts!
dave matthews, coldplay, Lauren Hill...
waterdeep

hi guys

jason (my brother) got in serious car accident that could have killed him, but he's just a little sore, and he's fine, praise God! but his car's totalled, so pray for him that he'll get the right amount of money for his car, and that he'll be able to get everywhere and such.

this past week or two i've been feeling really tired, especialy spiritually. i was finding it extremely hard to get up in the morning (i kept turning off my alarm clock with out remembering that it woke me up at all, and then one of my parents woke me up at like 7:30, 7:55 or something) but anyways, at youth group we had small groups and kate prayed for me. she said that she thinks that God's bringing me to a place of rest, and that i don't have to do anything for Him to love me more or less. there is SO many ways to spend time with God, and that He want's me to be creative. i could paint, sing, draw, go for a walk, pray, read, listen to worship music...(etc) i still need to be diciplined, and i'm probly going to try and get up early again next week, but i just need to be still and know that he is God, soaking in his love, not worrying about everything so much. just be still and know... be still and know... that he is God...

i'm remeinded to that song "could I" by kim mcmechan again. i won't write it out because i have before.. but it's so perfect for what i'm felling right now. (it's on the march 25th post, go read it)

pray for me that i won't have any apathy during this time, it's so easy to get stuck in that! i want to still spend time with my Jesus, and rest in him, not me.

p.s does anyone know how to put links on this? i can't figure where on the template to put it...